Love Story

i really dont know why i am having dreams about you… your the last person i wanna think about. my dream consisted of sitting around with a group of friends, picking out pictures off this wall, and they were of us,  some i can remember us taking, and others we never did?, but we looked SO happy, and i was thinking, i cant believe were nothing now, when we looked so happy then…

everythings changed. i deffinately love the way things are now, especially with john, its something i appreciate so much. i wouldnt change him for the world, hes so perfect for me. i cant wait til time has pass to make some more memories, and to just have that time with him, i think im seeing him today, but i dont want to assume. i miss him. alott. even though i woke up to him sunday morning…

reading about how she wants a divorce, and how much she doubts her and her husband, is halarious, i knew it wouldnt last. but ofcourse you couldnt tell her that. and thats exactly how its NOT gunna be with me. you might have gotten married before me, but its gunna crumble to nothing before mine. before i even get married youll probably be divorced. but thats fine by me. i know mine will last. and i wont get married until i knoowwww. for sure. its what i wanna do. and its who i wanna spend the rest of my life with.

John Vincent Holmes.<3

im a do it.

i mean? why not?

im gunna not only get my college paid for.

but im gunna get paid for going.

and im gunna get paid alot more then i would if i was a medical assistant.

thats IF i can find a job once i graduate. and if i cant well this is the perfect solution.

hopefully ill still be with john.

we can go at the same time.

come home same time.

get more benefits if were married.

be doing something i love.

be away from home.

get tougher.

health care specialist in the army.

the boyfriend.

things are really good with him.  ive never had such good communication with someone before. and its all ive ever wanted. he is such a good guy. everything is amazing. we can talk, we can laugh, we can wrestle, we can joke, we can tease, we can please, we can have guy/girl nights, we can have sleepovers, we can go out, we can stay in, we can love each other the way the other wants/ needs to be loved.

p.s

he is amazing at eating out. he could literrally be doing it for 2 minutes and get me off. he doesnt do it often, atleast before, im gunna try and be freshly showered EVERYTIME he comes over so that way i can pursue it a little more, we did 69 last night, and instead of talking about it and fguring out a way, i kinda just positioned my body the way he could get the hint while i was giving him head. and i never have to fake it with him no matter what which way, it always feels good. i faked 80% with steven. not even lying. the only way i enjoyed it was when he was either eating me out or from behind because i could rub my clit, his dick did nothing for me. and deb? it took her 10mins or longersometimes for it to feel good to some extent never mind getting me to get off. john and jaleesa are the only ones that could eat me out and get me to get off in less then 10 minutes.

i ate oatmeal, and 2 brownies, and drank an ice coffee xtra xtra with mocha.

that will be all i have today. at 12 noon i will fast for as long as i possibly can.

i just want to see how long i can last.

the only thing i will drink will be milk or water.

John; you know, i think i adore you more.

Myself; nope, not at all. i adore you more.

John; really? because

*opens jewelry gift box, inside a key shape pendant*

I Love You, Janelle. Happy birthday.

but you do pop in my head.

“Just because somebody doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.”

it makes sense. it fits you. it just bothers me that this was the case.

for our one month, my first dozen roses. (:

 -You already know most of this

I have known you for such a short amount of time, but it feels like forever. spending almost everyday with you can do that i believe, but I also believe even if we didn’t, we still would be as close since how much we talk about everything and anything. I can ask you the most awkwardest things, you can confide in me with your overthinkingness. I can almost always read your mood, or know why your mad. I may ask you, just incase, so I dont get it wrong because I am deffaintely not perfect. I’ve made mistakes, we both have. We forgave and forgot, and appreciate the fact that we didnt let it ruin us.

I couldn’t have predicted in my wildest dreams that we would becomes this.

Something I’ve only dreamed of, literally my fairytale.

I’ve been hurt before, and even though we’ve had our bumps, I am a firm believer that.

“Every guy will hurt you, you just have to find one that makes the pain worth while.”

I’ve had my fair share of assholes, I have learned what I want in a boyfriend, and what I don’t. You can have your friends that are girls without flirting with them. You can have your boynights, and I can have my girl nights, and still make time for me. You treat me with respect. You stand up for me when someone puts me down, even if theyre only joking. You stand up for what you believe in, even if your on your own. You want to do something with your life, just as ambitious as I am. You know how to save money, and not blow it on stupid things. You don’t want to play silly immature games. You admit when your wrong. You do anylittle thing to see me smile, (you wont laugh at comedy movies, but youll laugh, cuddling in bed/car/couch while making silly faces, and squeeky kisses) Your there for me when my life gets rough, your there for me no matter what(and me for you) You plan little things to surpise me. You make sure you call me beautiful atleast 2ce a day, or it just seems it. (:  You put in alll the effort in the world to be the best boyfriend you can be, and thats all Ive ever wanted, You do such a great job. it still amazes me. You put up with alllll my little quirks, and try to help me along the way. I appreciate you sooo so much and every little thing you do.

I adore you

so so so much more.

you think you “over work” your self by working 4 hour shifts. seriously. try working 11 hours or even 8! pathetiiiic.

i wish i had the balls to say it first. i just dont want to rush you. but i do feel it. trust me. whenever your ready. as soon as you know. dont plan it. just spit it out.

 there are reasons why i havent really gone into details about the bumps and bruises with me and john, i just feel like if i write them on here, itll be more real.

weve worked through them, and as much as i hate having them on our record, if you will call it, its there, and we survived through it. so thats good right?

there are parts of me that wants him to read this, and other parents that would cringe at him reading it. idontknow, byyyyye cuddle time.

was great this year; first christmas witha  real boyfriend.

i went to his familys house, and he came to mine. and were having a sleepover tonight too.

things are going good. really good.

me, his sister, his grandmother, and his grandmothers lonng time friend sat at the kitchen table talking while the boys were watching t.v. everyone was getting along goood making jokes telling stories. his sister loves me which is such a goooood thing. ahaha she told john that shes marrying me, and ive told him im adopting her, shes so cute, shes 16. such a sweetheart. and then we left there. and went to my aunts, stayed for a few minutes till the girls opened gifts and i opened mine. and then me and john left.  and had the house to our self for like 20 minutes.

kitchen table sex?

:D

and then they came home as we were about to hop in the shower. so that didnt get to happen yet. but my kitchen table is fricken perfect for the height.mhmm.

we were having life conversations. and things are gunna get so gooooooo0ooo0od.

there is NO way, jackie has a relationship like me and johns. she might be married, own apartment and car, but her and dans relationship isnt even close to being on the same level to compare it too.

he is perfect for me. and he says the same for me. (:

comparative to Steven, John is literally God.

There are so many things that i hate about jeremy. ahahahaha haxxed!!!!!!!! =]

There are so many things that Steven never did, that John just automatically does. The most important one?

ADMITS WHEN HE IS FUCKING WRONG.

 <3